Would they do this to a straight couple on a date? No, I don’t think so either. They keep coming up to our table, inserting themselves in our conversation. A straight man’s fantasyĪ group of men leer at us, whispering and sniggering. Our presence sends little thrills through the bar. We’ll never be just two people on a date because we’re both women in a small town straight pub. It’s not like we’re making out amid the Thursday special hot pot. Neither can the straight people around us. We get chills every time our fingers brush and can’t take our eyes off each other. I go on a date with Laura* (name changed to protect her identity) and the chemistry is electric.
#KEY WEST GAY BARS MAP CRACKED#
Lesbian dating in a straight bar isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. Read more: What single adults in the UK are looking for in a partner And how many of those do you think live outside cities? Within that, there’ll be an even smaller percentile that are queer women. Or muddy puddle if you’re outside a city.Īccording to the Office of National Statistics (2019), Heterosexuals make up 93.7% of the population.
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Whereas straight folks have the proverbial sea to find their lobster in, we’re dealing with more of a pond. To understand the predicament faced by queer women living outside of cities, there’s a few things you need to know… I knew I was gay as a child but for various reasons (like growing up in the 80s under section 28) it took me a long time to embrace myself. Hi, I’m Fay, I’m 41 and I’ve been out and proud for eight years. And, in a town with far less lesbians per square mile than London (and even that was lacking), my dilemma worsens.įay Barrett says lesbian dating in a straight bar tends to attract all sorts of unwanted attention.
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Unless I’m at an event clearly labelled ‘here be lesbians’ I have to do all kinds of mathematical equations in my head to work out if she could be queer. Read more: True love: 'My husband became a woman and we're still together' A random night out, a bar… your eyes may even lock over the Tesco’s ready meals section. Was there some kind of local lesbian spotter’s guide that would save the embarrassment of chatting up a straight girl? When you’re heterosexual you can meet the love of your life anywhere. How will I know she’s queer? People don’t tend to walk around wearing ‘I’m a dyke’ T-shirts. Plus, there’s a raffle, which does not constitute a sexy night in my opinion. Even if I found said fabled lesbian, where would I take her? The Harvester? Big Ken’s greasy spoon? Sure, there’s an occasional gay night at a random pub but there’s likely to be more gay men attending. Sure, people had heard of them but had anyone actually seen one?
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Here, lesbians are some kind of mythic creature. (Supplied) Is anyone out there?Īnd then it hit me: “I’m the only gay in the village”.Īt least, it felt that way. Fay Barrett says lesbian women seem to be 'mythic creatures' in her home town.